Last night I had a mini-meltdown (aka a panic attack) and idk what’s going on with me. I haven’t had one for six months (when I had a terrible job). D just held me and let me cry. I’ve never been more in love.
I took a half day and now I’m torn between sleeping, sitting in the sun with a book, and hours of yoga.
All I know is there will be hours of packing and some sushi later. LITTLE THINGS.
Despite the short week, an empowering yoga practice, a delicious steak/guac lunch, pug/tux cat snuggles, stalking NASA, BLASTING music, and surprise kisses, I cannot shake the tears today.
I feel like I’ve been half-assing my May Intentions lately and so it’s time to recommit. Although in kudos to myself, I have NOT half-assed the main one - the one in being courageous in expressing my own feelings (much to the dismay of those around me?) - with surprisingly delightful results (so much love).
And so this weekend is dedicated to:
doing something nice for myself, a run, spending time with Luna cat, catching up with my sister and my beautiful niece, too much crab, handstands in probable inappropriate places, turning up the music WAY too loud, celebration champagne, underwear yoga, acceptance, writing a career goal list, a Hawaiian/CrossFit barbecue, and being more present (perhaps a mini hiatus from social media)
Unrelated blog advice (please) on Hawaiian themed barbecues and other girls…?
D: I’ve watched TWO whole minutes of A yoga video. I’m ready to come to vinyasa with you today.
Me: You’re not coming until you know how to do a sun salutation.
D: Excuse me, I’ve been doing yoga for YEARS. I’ll be fine.
Me: Doing hatha once in a blue moon and mobility exercises MAYBE for the past two years does not prepare you for an advanced hot vinyasa class…
D: Are you questioning my fitness?!
Me: No, but, it’s different…
/You guys, I’m so excited to see my CrossFitter flail. I know yoga isn’t meant to be competitive and all but he’s ALWAYS kicking my ass in met-cons sooo…
Can anyone relate to starting the birth control pill and just feeling like hell the first month?
Post-“verge of relapse”
Or - I was. I fell into bad habits with my injury - le accident of September 1st. Not being able to run or do “intense” yoga or most lifting left me with little stress relief. I drank too much. I slept too little. I lost my way of out training bad habits… which if you think about it isn’t good by itself. I felt I was eating too much without enough activity. So I purged. It cost me health, sleep, happiness… A SOCIAL LIFE. I started seeing a therapist WHO WAS AWFUL, BTW. What kind of therapist puts you on a low carb diet and tells you to exercise more when YOU’RE INJURED and having fucking issues with dieting as it is?!
Some Things on this Past Week.
- Yesterday was my first full week at my new job and it gets progressively better experimenting on mice. OH THE HUMANITY.
- The key to my success is sleep. Without sleep, I tend to overeat/crave sugar and become a big, emotional hot mess. I cried over losing a $20 bill.
- That being said, I had been only sleeping 4-6 hours a night and still went to yoga twice and ran three times. Such activities made me feel great afterward even if I didn’t have any motivation going in. I don’t know why I felt so bad about myself ONLY working out five times… shut it, self.
- The second key to my success is planning. Planning and packing lunches/snacks was my saving grace. Thin sandwich bread, fruits, yogurt, and veggies have been the most convenient. That homemade date bar? Not so much. It melted sitting out all over my lunch bag (life).
- The amount of sugar and the the three drinks I had last night made me feel AWFUL. When did my tolerance get so low? Why must we celebrate birthdays with homemade cakes of guilt (the guilt coming in when you refuse a piece)?
- I slept until noon and missed yoga. What. Then again, I went to bed at 4. It’s okay, I’ll run.
- Running has turned into the more convenient form of exercise over hot yoga, my true love. It’s okay, I’ll do some home practice later as well.
Ending this week with some time in the sun, a Men in Black marathon (before I see the third movie like a nerd), and maaaaybe some froyo.
Relevant always - socially awkward in Seattle.
Can I have it all?
Nutrition, work, fitness, and a social life?
I stayed up late
mocking messages I received on dating sites on Twitter w/ Alannahcooking my food for today, I got six and a half hours of sleep (and coffee, yay), I’m planning to go to yoga after work, and then I’m meeting my ex of five years for a drink/food thing (idk). HE wanted to go to yoga with me? How awful would it be to bring the yoga newbie to my hot advanced class… (muahahaha).
I just need to work on the more sleep, less internet thing. So far, so good.
I celebrated too hard last night (new job, yay) sooo, I’m skipping my favorite hot yoga class. I’m a little heartbroken BUT I don’t wanna puke, ya know? You’re welcome, yogis. AT LEAST I walked around in the sun and did more yoga in a park earlier. And hey, I have this cuddle bug to Netflix with me.
Yoga is meant to be practiced in the grass.
In pincha mayurasana, the earth allows you to share its roots
In ardha chandrasana, the breeze supports your every limb
In tittibhasana, the grass provides a soft place to land
In eka pada rajakapotasana IV, the ground contours to your body like memory foam
And in savasana, the birds sing you through a perfect meditation
brb, going outside.
I finally made it to my destination in Colorado! I’m staying with my aunt, who lives on a farm (hence the little chicken in my grasp). Fresh eggs for dayyys!
Anyway, I haven’t worked out since Friday afternoon. I’m jonesing for some yoga. Real bad. Now I finally have some space!
Currently eating the banana peppers off my sister’s salad (let’s be honest, toppings are the best part of everything) post green smoothie while I work at a cafe/bar (we’re starting to call it our office AND SOMTIMES a glass of wine helps work productivity… it just does). I’ll try to get something fitness-y in but I have to miss evening yoga for family dinner… at a shmancy restaurant. Rough, I know.
I’m going to Colorado for a week or two so there are… so many things to get done before Saturday. GOTIME!