March 8th.
Steak breakfast. In office design work with breaks to scour the Internet for new spring fashion trends. Payday meaning back to yuppie yogi lunches. Missing hot yoga for traffic/power nap. Helping the sister set up her nursery (put a bird on it theme!). Coconut chocolate/sea salt truffle kale chips. Tomb Raider!
I gave up this Tumblr URL to someone else IRL (D). There’s really nothing left to hide or not admit to. Openness has been good to me, as has opening the heart. Speaking of heart openers (yoga), Purity Ring is my new favorite yoga/sex playlist addition (if you like the XX for that type of thing, imho).How mundane, I think as I’m putting on PJs at 7 PM on a Friday. I missed out on the art museum party, yoga, a Portland opportunity. Too exhausted and happy to care. Then I realize I don’t care. I wouldn’t have given this quiet contentment up for anything other than a really good kiss (and a bottle of wine).
darcythrives-deactivated2013052 asked: How did you & D meet??
Oh, I’ll answer this publicly since a few people have asked. We met online! I have an OKC account that I’ve mainly been too afraid to use. I hate first dates. I’m so uncomfortable meeting new people ANYWAY. When he messaged me though… it was like we were already going to meet and it was weird we hadn’t already! His gym is two blocks from mine, we go to the same yoga studio, we have mutual friends, and we easily walk to each other’s apartments. He was forward without being creepy, east coast without being rude, open yet mysterious, confident without being cocky, and dedicated to similar things I was but different enough where I didn’t feel we were in competition. ALSO, he has an adorable dog sooo that helped.
Sipping on coffee and almond milk with a side of kombucha. Seriously, there’s nothing sexier than opening up a bottle and having it spill everywhere and then going to take a sip and having a slimy clump of probiotics get stuck in your hair. I am exhausted in all ways.
I did not get the job I was in the running for. I found out last night before my meat date with D. I was a mini mess. Buh, he skipped his 6 AM WOD to stay up with me and I have a pug in my lap and a gym bag packed (must cash in on all the meat last night) so things have vastly improved. It’s the little things, guys.
In an effort to not spend anymore money on $$$ Whole Foods juice OR keep eating the pineapple (pineapple burn, damn bromelain), I juiced pineapple, lime, orange, ginger, and jalapeño for Luna Del Rey and I. SO SPICY.
Also, American Apparel mailed me a 15% off thing so hello, romper, you will be mine.
I worked all day and missed yoga and now I feel meh sooo YogaGlo and Netflix it is.
I don’t know what’s going on with me the past week. First of all, I’m happy. SO happy. I still love my little apartment and its location. I guard my independence fiercely. I’ve gone on some exciting job interviews while I’m working on design for my parent’s company and so far, all I’ve gotten in positive feedback. *fingers crossed* I hear back from one in particular in the next couple days. I’ve recently hit PRs on all my lifts and STILL my yoga progress and flexibility continues to progress. My injured shoulder ALMOST feels stronger than it did pre-motorcycle accident. My transition in primal is going well. I make smarter choices and don’t feel bad about sharing a piece of pie my friend baked. My productivity falters in our desires.
Yet still. I struggle.
February 15th.
Last night: anti-VD party of two + tequila then he made me go to bed at 10 PM for CrossFit BUT I FORGOT MY SHOES (I am le worst).
Today:
-left to my own devices (pug cuddle party obviously)
-paleo omelet and coffee and kisses while I stream NASA live (asteroid and meteors and bears OH MY)
-natural sunlight
-lunch with a friend who has Nintendo knee high socks for me (for the obnoxious CrossFit outfit I plan on wearing)
-yoga on yoga
-engagement party
HI, I AM SO HAPPY WHO AM I WHOOO.
A couple things (aka six):
- design work is already infinitely better for me (for now) over research because I CAN DRINK COFFEE AT MY DESK (!!!), no one looks at me askance for wearing “weird” clothing (like today’s Black Milk Egypt leggings), and I’m not so emotionally drained after work that I still look forward to the gym (and don’t feel like I need to drink away my problems)
- yesterday I felt gross/SO hungry/lethargic so I took a rest day and loaded up on protein/veggies/vitamins
- that being said, I started DEEP cleaning my apartment; new fella said I had too many clothes and I wanted to smack him before acknowledging the truth (stay away from my shoes though)
- said fella has been a little MIA since his shoulder surgery (*cough CROSSFIT cough*) so I’m basically about ready to show up at his door with a batch of paleo coconut bars, a chicken, and lingerie urging him to hand his puppy over to me for the night for all the cuddles
- gym crush/trainer is coming to hot yoga with me next week before we grab a drink and I’m going to be responsible for kicking HIS ass into gear for once
- my yoga studio is starting teacher training and depending on the cost, I’M DOING IT (/panic) - shout out to Sarah for the reminder of the open house
Currently on a Twitter rant because one friend asked me how to start a juice cleanse and another told me cooking with coconut oil was adding too much fat into my diet and another wondered if I was getting too worried about my upper body getting “too big” with lifting.
I just can’t with some people right now.
There’s something so… terrifying, yet hopeful about a first kiss. Does anything else really compare?
I keep wearing heels and skirts after leg day in the frigid Seattle streets.
WHYYY do I keep thinking this is a good idea? Masochist much? ShakeShakeWobbleTrip.
Job quit. Everyday panic and stress has evaporated. Quick relief. I went straight from work to the gym / double yoga. I made homemade soup. These were all good things yesterday. Gold stars - bam, bam.
I knew it’d be difficult eventually though. That nauseous-which-way-is-up anxiety from that work place has just now been replaced with a what-the-fuck-I-should-have-my-life-together-by-now feeling. My phone still isn’t working and I don’t care. Feeling regretful for not being in Atlanta now even though I should be proud of saying no. All I did today was play video games. What does one do when the things they love aren’t even appealing (eg. yoga/vino/bar shmoozing/froyo/catcuddling)?!
Thank the stars for James. If not for him and being accountable in lifting goals, I wouldn’t leave my apartment (plus, who wants to get the flu?! NOT I). Tomorrow I will make myself at least try a little yoga. And NEXT WEEK I will try to find a new passion, a new career. All we can do is keep trying and swimming.
Hi bloggy-blog!
I haven’t been around because I’ve been living in the real world (aka the gym, friend’s floors, and my bed). In a ridiculous whirl of poor timing, I’ve been ignored enough and misblamed enough at my job I nearly walked out, canceled my yoga membership, had a panic attack, a fella I was supposed to visit canceled the trip because he met someone else, my shoulder injury got reinflamed, annnd my phone stopped working. IN FACT, I became so unavailable without my phone for a few days that my parents panicked and called the police. Reality check, self.
I am grateful forrr:
- home practice
- a squat PR (135 pounds, yay)
- friends and family
- Netflix/Hulu+ (because I’ve started this thing of gymming it up in the AM and then going to my friend’s house and watching an ENTIRE SEASON of something like Portlandia, Adventure Time, American Horror Story, BSG,…)
- a cuddly cat
- so much fucking pho (w/ sriracha, obviously)
- leggings because my ass/quads won’t fit into my skinny jeans anymore yet my waist is shrinking and I ACTUALLY DON’T CARE (:D)
- endorphins, caffeine, wine, and my gym crush for that fuzzy, warm feeling I almost forgot I could have
I’m more excited to escape work and get to the gym than for my NYE plans (which are a wine tasting party at a wine bar).
Who have I become?
Accent theme by Handsome Code
Passionate in the positive pursuit of personal power. Forever longing for the runner's high, the flush my face gets after inversions, more squat depth, being fit as fuck, and fast and furious.
