(hello lover (spiciest steak Chipotle salad with exxxtra guac) and bringing back the inkblot wunder unders)
one hour of sweaty “power” yoga
two runny eggs over crispy sweet potato hash browns. steak/guac/cheese salad. paleo strawberry banana pancakes (but then I smothered ‘em with grassfed butter). chocolate fudge scoop.
Yoga today was super miserable. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was my lack of activity lately, maybe it was not used to being in the heat again, maybe I’m just sick of my studio (something I think more and more is true). I wasn’t even having any of the “easy” poses. Happy baby made my hip cramp. I need to practice more. I need to be find creativity and inspiration in the process again. Yoga rut. What to do. What to do.
I think I default to a depressed state. This is something I need to actively work on. Productivity and love and fitness has kept it away but… the stressed chipped away at my positivity shield and D and I lost touch and I got lost in a loop of what is the point of all this/what if I don’t get a job/I’m fat (TYPICAL GIRL). I have a plan though. Gratefulness. Reading. Productivity. Finding another activity I like to do.
Today I’m grateful D is planning a trip for us this weekend (maybe Portland or Vancouver???)/WE NEED TO GET AWAY (or at least I do), I went to yoga and even though it wasn’t great and I am 100% out of shape I felt the yoga bliss again, and chocolate.